Tuesday, July 16, 2013

A Lifetime in Purgatory.

Well, maybe not a lifetime, but at least a year and a half. And a year and a half in real time seems like a lifetime. In July of 2009, after some strange occurrences that included my self perceived notion that my deceased brother was communicating to me through my dementia addled mother, I was born again in the light of Christ. Of course, I went full bore with my new found life:I sported a crucifix, I started going to church, I proselytized my new life's excitement. Unfortunately, real life reared it's ugly head, as my mother passed away as did her annual income to our household. It did not take long for my savings to diminish and I found myself living from paycheck to paycheck. a year and a half before I had stepped down from my management position to devout more time to my new found sanity. That monetary reduction hastened my deep dive into bankruptcy. However, the dismissal of 40k in debt did not alleviate the problem at hand: My bills outnumbered my salary. And as one knows, that will only fly for a short time. Flash forward to July 2013. For the last several months, I have dealt with health issues that I would not wish on my worst enemy. Mornings are the worst. I wake up feeling exponentially worse than when I went to bed. Complete exhaustion, morning stiffness, joint pain and the worst of all, nausea. The worst days are when I have to go to work, which is physically demanding. However, on my off days, I usually never leave the house due to my symptoms. Today I went to my Primary Care Physician and he ordered some blood work(which I immediately had done). The test will rule out(or in)Lyme disease, Mold illness, Thyroid issues and anemia, among other issues. I really hope that some disease or condition comes back positive, as I have no desire to live in my current state. My doc did prescribe to me his preferred anti-anxiety medication and I must agree that this time around it has at least made me feel better (for today anyway). Now to find a video.......