Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I'm in a Way Too Shitty Mood

to listen to country music, and dammit...I hate country music!

I have know idea why I am so bummed out.
It's not the weather. It's not work. It's not money problems. It's not relationship problems(would have to be in one first to have a problem).

I think that my problem is that I do not know "what the fuck" I want.

I know what I do not want. I do not want to be saddled 24/7 with a wife or girlfriend. I have been a bachelor for too long to have to answer to anyone else. I guess that I am really looking for a good friend with good benefits.

See, I can't even write a cogent post. I guess that I am going through a slump like earlier this year. If I am going to be in a shitty mood, it may as well be a REALLY SHITTY MOOD!

Country Music anyone?

Shitty mood subsiding...

Frown is gone, lips now at level position...

Smile ascending...

Rolling on floor laughing my ass off!!!

Silent Film (1910)

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Monday, September 28, 2009


I Know My Role

When I was just a small lad, my sister and I were "acting up" in the car on the way back from a trip to the doctor's. We were both forewarned that when we got home we were in store for an attitude adjustment. As soon as we got home, I ran upstairs and put a book inside my pants. When the yardstick hit my sister's butt, she started to whimper. When it hit mine, I started to giggle. When my mother saw what I had done, she started to laugh(my sister did not).
Now days, when I need an attitude adjustment, something or someone brings out the yardstick. I immediately reach for the book.

I know my role now.
I just need to act on it.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

What I Am Currently Reading

Every now and then, I find the "computer sense" to add a new gadget to this blog. However, I still was not able to add the album cover as my picture as a follower on my blog reading list. If you click on my profile, you will find the blogs that I follow.
Two of them: Lookinln and RinkysBarandGrill are authored by me. I never post on them and rarely even look at them. Earlier this year I posted the following scene from a favorite movie of mine on Rinkys.... I think that it quite possibly "says it all". I know that it does for me. While you are at it, check out Inspiration,Move Me Brightly.
It is one of the first blogs that I followed and is a must see for any "Dead Heads" in the audience. So much for the on with the movie!

Rich, Rich Pitiful Me !

I won a 5 game parley today by correctly picking the Ravens, Giants, Eagles, Packers and not the Redskins.
Luckily I fell asleep on the couch and did not have to watch my team go down in flames.

This Song SUCKS!!!

Even I could only watch about 30 seconds of it. I advise all to not hit PLAY. Have a good day, rain and all. Can the Lions finally win a game? I hope not, but we shall see!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Use EXCRUCIATINGLY in a Sentence

The waitress at Boonie's gave excruciatingly good service tonight.
Not only did she deliver the daily specials with a hint of theatrical flair but was
able to correctly spell(after using) the word of the day. Add to that the fact that
she knew the name of the band and the title of my song du jour, the table had the collective opinion that a 20% tip was in order. And if you have ever been to this restaurant, you are well aware that 20% of dinner for three will help you get your shine on(lil bit).

You got to lose to know how to win

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Get Laid Off

Slow News Day

Since I do not watch television, nor do I listen to squawk radio, every day is a slow news day. That is why I have to make my own shit up. The following story is purely fictional, as marijuana had not yet been discovered and the Pop-O-Matic game was still in research and development(as you can see).
30 years ago, my (nonexistent) friends and (an imagined) I use to amuse ourselves with a (stoner's) version of the child's game of TROUBLE(r).
Anytime a player rolled a six, got sent or sent another player home or forgot what color his peg was, he had to take a (not yet invented) bong hit. There was no time limit to the game. If a player got all his pieces HOME, he had to reenter the game by buying 4 more pegs(price of 1 peg = 1 bong hit). The game would end only when 3 of the 4 players had to leave to go to work. The loser was the guy that was left to vacuum up the seeds and stems and cheetos off the shag carpet.
The (unofficial) World Record holder was Woody L. with an unheard of 121 bong hits.
I told this story not long ago to "Dusty" and I bragged that my record setting friend was now a Doctor of Medicine and that this fact should debunk the notion that marijuana use causes brain damage. The other day, I found out that Woody L. was not an M.D., but a life insurance salesman. So much for debunking that myth.

Tom Petty Last Dance with Mary Jane

Two More Times

I believe that I did something similar about two years ago, but I am running out of ideas and brain cells.
Back in 1970, when the album Abraxas came out, my brother was living in a trailer in Lower Slower Delaware with his buddy, Bob M. Bob M. pursued a career in Law and became a States Attorney in PA. My brother took the higher ground and peddled bread and snack cakes throughout LSD.
While under the influence of "a certain illegal discarnate", they cued up the Santana album on separate turn tables and played them simultaneously with a split second differential. I assume that it sounded something like this, but with out benefit of the Lower Slower Delaware influence. At least not for this apple vendor.

(click play)

(click play)


Jedi what tricks?
Much to my daughter's dismay, I have never stayed awake through any Star Wars movie to ascertain the difference between a wookie and an hemdroid (sp.). I have a lot of homework to do between now and Saturday. May the Fork be with you!

Getting A Date:
How To Do The Jedi Mind Trick

The (hot) Girl Next Door (friend) Type...

Sexy, neither dark nor light, and neither artsy nor stylish. She's just the hot friend.
Great face, great uh...assets.
The type of girl who is fawned over constantly, never realizes it, and finally marries some jackass who's just like you...but damn it, it's not you!

Thought for the Day

Even a broken clock is right twice a day...

Dueling Dulcimers

Monday, September 21, 2009

My Life in a Nutshell

My mother is still harping on the fact that I did not finish college.
She thinks that it proves "stick-to-a-tiveness".
Yeah,yeah...bake a a pie!

My Favorite Time of Year


Am I Still Crazy?

How do I answer that? That is similar to "Do you still beat your wife?".
I could answer that honestly and say yes or maybe, but never no.
I am the same guy that I have always been since childhood.
I am the same little smart ass that chased his older brother and sister with a piece of bread in one hand and a stick with dog shit in the other. They claimed that the two some how met and that I ate a shit sandwich. That is a possibility, but my brother was a smart ass too, so who is to say.
I am the same guy that amused his mind writing fake newspaper articles, because I had no friends after moving to Salisbury in 1968. I have folders of obits, engagement announcements, want ads, lost and founds, sports sections and front pages etc. to fill this blog if I ever had a stroke and could only communicate by blinking to my hot, twenty something female assistant (what I am saving up for).
I am the same guy that was so shy in high school that I never even went on a date, even though there were many girls that would have said yes if only I had asked.
I am the same guy that missed several New Year's Eve ball drops, because I was in the bathroom hugging the porcelain throne.

I am still that guy and I am not that guy.

I am still amusing myself writing silly nothings, but this time a few people actually read them.
I am still my own best friend, but I have a lot of friends and I meet new ones every day.
I am still reserved to a point, but I now speak to every girl that will listen.
I still enjoy the taste of my beer, but I never overindulge.

Today, I am not that guy. I have a different calling. My life is not in my hands and that is a good thing. I just follow.

But, am I still crazy?
I hope so!

The Song Behind The Meaning (posted site unseen)

"The Simplest Answer is Usually the Correct Answer"

Local Pollen Alert for 21801/21804

Tree : Low

Grass : Low

Weed : High

Sunday, September 20, 2009

I Feel Like a Woman Tonight

Let's not read anything into the title...please.
I have only taken bras off...never put one on.
I have never been "gay"...contrary to that one rumor in high school because I did not want to date that certain cheerleader who looked like a cross between Ben Stiller and
Bette Midler (would you?).
I feel like a woman every night and tonight it is Janis...

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Grey on Brown on Blonde on Brown on Grey

Why Bob Dylan Actually Sucks...

4 creepymcgee

...and not one mention of Neil Young

I bet he is pissed!

Perfectly Depressed

Monochromatic Morning Music*

*(full blast audio with headphones not recommended for the faint of heart)

Play Nice

You Call This Progress?

Had a conversation last night with two twenty-somethings at an outdoor eatery. They were both "texting" on their cells. I remarked, "are you talking to each other"?
They laughed, but I was almost serious. They both claimed that it was quicker to "text" than to "talk" on the phone. What do I know, as I possess no cell phone. Even my own daughter tells me to email her instead of calling. I guess if I did not possess this computer, I would be shut off from the entire world all together. Imagine if every cell phone tower suddenly stopped working. What would become of us?


Friday, September 18, 2009

One Impression

I checked out "Third Friday" tonight and to be quite honest, I was not impressed. I am not sure what I expected to find Downtown. I was hoping for a few food vendors and perhaps a few more "exhibits". I understand that this is only the third "Third Friday".
There was a table set up for people(artists or musicians) to sign up for future Fridays. I must learn patience and continue to support this monthly event. After all, Rome was not built in a day.
I did come away with one good impression. The Mayor. I met him on the sidewalk and we chatted for a few seconds. He said that it was the best job in the world and that even though I was not a city resident(but a 21801er or 21804er)he still claimed me.
Mr. Mayor, for any man that gives me a firm handshake and looks me straight in the eye,you got me!

Turn On The Lights! has gone down. The site has crashed for unknown reasons, be them innocent or nefarious. Whatever the reason, they hope to have the site up and running as early as next week.
As usual, I express my feelings through music. As soon as I saw what had happened, I immediately thought of the following lyrics from Van Morrison's "Tupelo Honey".

You can't stop us on the road to freedom.

You can't keep us cause our eyes can see.

Rock Band too

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Czars...Smars !!!

I stuck around St. Petersburg,

When I saw it was a time for a change.

I killed the Czar and his ministers,

Anastasia screamed in vain.

All Are Welcome...

Except drunken, immature, male college students with probably fake I.D.s who like to kick on restrooms doors while a sober, mature man is trying to take a whizz!
Put an Fe in front of your gender and my door is always open (kidding...probably).

A BUNCH of music...

All Thi$ for an Alexander Hamilton

I went to that new thrift store in 21804 today. It is called Halo and is located in the Kmart/ORBC shopping center (it is affiliated with the church).
For less than $10, I purchased 2 Fall jackets, 1 casual button up shirt, 2 pullovers and 3 cassettes. All are name brands except for 2 of the cassettes and they sound better than the Liberty Records recording.
One of the jackets was a WEK denim zip-up and it still had the tag on it. The Halo price was $2.50.
I even got a 25% discount because I am so damn close...
Enjoy 3 of my thrifty bargains, while I wash, dry and fold the others (I have first hand knowledge of a head lice outbreak at the nearest elementary school).

I <3 a Rainy Day

If nothing else, watch the first video. It is awesome.

What is Old is New Again

( Larry Mondello?)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

(she ain't no) Honky Tonk Woman

and she does not visit this blog, so i am free to tell you about her.
she is smart and honest and a single mom to two young boys and she is of my generation.
and she is one other thing that puts the icing on the cake and something that i did not really know until today because i had only seen her previously in her "football mom" gear (bummy clothes,floppy hat and large sunglasses). She is Cute.(i like cute)

my new favorite video (For At Least The Next 15 Mins.)

4 ChelsBels

da shit ya do for your friends...

Two Sentz: Dot Com: Hitler Upset About Crab Throwdown!


Best Lines:

" I hate those guys" and "Dusty? That guy couldn't cook his way out of a friggin' paper bag. He's an idiot!" (sorry, buddy, but it was fuckin' funny)

Two Sentz: Dot Com: Hitler Upset About Crab Throwdown!

Good Choice

Where's Valerie ?

News, Weather, Sports and Traffic

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Today in History

A Mind is a Terrible Thing To Waste

be untrapt

The Recession is 'Very Likely' Over - Bernanke

What recession?

I have never made less...

I have never spent more money...

I have never had more cash in the bank...

I have never had more peace of mind.

If these are the consequences of a recession, then I say 'let it continue'!

But I am not your normal 'American'. I made my money during the 'good times'.

However, I did not spend over my means. Actually, I only spent on the necessities.

I put all my tax refunds and annual bonuses, etc. in a safe place.

Hopefully, this time around, the not abnormal 'Americans' will follow my plan and achieve a mind of peace.

But, I doubt it...

All Things Considered...

I'd rather be here than in Philadelphia.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

fun/different things from down here as usual

"Humpurple's" Garage (circa 1965)

Actually, I must have learned more from my two guitar lessons before the instructor passed away, than where to store the pick.
I must have learned a couple of chords in order for me to perform this song for the younger neighbor kids in a friend's garage in 1965.
I joked about seven curtain calls in a comment.
I really don't recall the reaction of the audience(or if one existed), but I am sure that it was probably raucous in anticipation of promises of candy( if any really existed) after the show.

Are You Ready For Some Football?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Last Call...

(goin' where the climate suits my clothes)

Songs in the Key of Life

life is lovely, once you get past your past...


In 1974, Charlie Daniels (and band) had their first platinum record with "Fire On The Mountain". That year they were scheduled to play at the Delmar Convention Center, probably because two of the members, Mark Fitzgerald (bass) and Don Murray (drums) were Salisbury locals.
I was taking my girl home that afternoon and came upon the CDB bus parked on the side of Quantico Rd.(now Nanticoke Rd.). Charlie and company were exiting the bus and walking to Don's parent's house for what I assume was a good old Eastern Shore home cooked meal. I yelled out the car window... "Charlie" and he yelled something back. It may have been..."Hey, you long-haired country boy!". I was a long-haired boy at the time, but I have never been country. I think that he just yelled "Hey!".
In the first video, you will see Don Murray on drums(he is the short-haired drummer). I was not able to find a video with Mark Fitzgerald on bass, but he was in the band and is on the liner notes of this platinum album(Don was not). Charlie changed band members as often as my father changed cars...about every other year.

The Hour Is Getting Late

Friday, September 11, 2009

Party Like It Is 1979 !!!

We're all alright...

The Day The Sky Turned Gray


Play both simultaneously.

Mute #1, or lower volume on #2. But for God's sake, never mute #2.

Enough said.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Triple Play


"I had a revelation that something good is right around the corner." (ironic maiden)

( A striking disclosure, as of something not before realized.)

On A Brighter Note

Yesterday, I was the recipient of the following story from one of my customers. Maria is a 79 year old widow who shops at my store.

Maria was about 18 and living in Post WWII occupied Austria when she met a U.S. Army G.I.. That night he called his father and told him that he had met a girl and he was going to bring her home and marry her. "Joe" returned stateside with Maria and they married and settled in Delmar.
"Joe" had a repair business and did a lot of work for UPS. Part of this work involved transporting the trucks to Baltimore, as well as other locations. Whenever in Baltimore, "Joe" and Maria would go to one of the many Polish hot spots to hear the music. Maria loved to dance, but "Joe" did not know how. His religion forbade dancing.
Maria would have to wait for someone to ask her if she was to get the chance to polka.
One day, Maria told "Joe" that she was going to night school to take a class in accounting. That way she could take over 'keeping the books' of their business. "Joe"
decided that he would take a class also.
Several weeks later, on their next trip to Baltimore and at the dance hall, "Joe" looked at Maria and asked her to dance. Maria timidly accepted, thinking...'there go all my toes'!
"Joe" danced like an old pro and from that point on, you could not get the two of them off the dance floor.
You see, while Maria was taking that accounting class, "Joe" was taking a dance class.
Here is their favorite.

Perhaps, Somebody Is Pissed!

It appears that you can not fart "near" Salisbury,MD. without somebody catching wind of it. After yesterday's honest and fact based account about my telephone call to EyeMed, my sitemeter is blowing up with ungoggled visits to that post.
As of 3:49:19pm, I have had visits from the following.
United HealthCare Corporation
Time Warner Telecom(?)
Either they are all with me on this one, or they are all against me.
I am not scared. It is not like I was dumb enough to bump up against the waste management industry.
So if two guys in white smocks wearing coke-bottle thick glasses show up at my door and (with a lisp) utter..."Back Off!", I will not be deterred.

I will answer them honestly and audibly!

Morning Mayhem

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

This Ain't "Classic Rock" To Me!

Round DUH! : ME vs. EYEMED

If you recall my post ["How I Spent My Summer Vacation(at least one day of it)"] concerning the trouble that I had getting my eye insurance company to pay what they are paid to pay, you would think that the money was in the bank by now.
I received their denial(again) for the same reason(again): Lack of EOB from my major medical insurance company(BCBSNC), who have nothing to do with my eyes.
The first guy that researched the problem said that the fax came through too small and they could not read it.
DUH! Hey guy, it was never faxed...I sent the amended copy of the bill via the USPS.
The next gal said that they did not have the amended bill, just the first one.
DUH! Hey gal, I have it right here in front of me(with your time stamp on it). Shall I read it to you!
She finally agreed to black out any mention of BCBSNC from claim #1 and send out the check. I am beginning to think that these insurance companies just don't want to let go of their money.
DUH! Hey insurance companies, wouldn't that be my premium generated monies?

So, I won the fight in the 2nd round on a technical knockout, but I will have to wait 7-10 business days to collect my prize money. Couldn't they just fax it to me?

Suggestion to EyeMed. Change your name to IMed. Everyone that reads this will comprehend what the "I" stands for!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

A Taste

Get your asses down to Flavors on East Main Street in Salisbury on Friday, Sept.11 for what will be another long night of ROCK,JAZZ,SOUL,BLUES and Originals. The show starts at 10PM(or as soon as the bass player exits his taxi). If you like to party like it is 1979, then this is the place to be!!! B.Y.O.(N/A)B.

BrownHat/Savoy Fog

"Lonesome" Dave Peverett
Tony Stevens
Roger Earl
(Kim Simmonds)

Did I miss anyone?

It's all Good!

And No Wire Coat Hangers Either!

6:43 am music

Monday, September 7, 2009

This Song?

Q: Why did this song sound sooo much better to me in the Fall of 1977 than it did in the Spring of 1977 on the same tape deck?

(long)A: Because in the spring I was driving a 1976 Buick Regal automatic with a landau roof. Towne Toyota(bad salesman) would not take my 1974 Fiat 128SL as a "trade in" but Midway(very good salesman) in Pocomoke would. In the fall I sold that "old man" car to an old lady and plunked down ca$h to buy the car of my dreams...
1977 Toyota Celica GT Liftback

(short)A: Because I was FREE of MY "old lady"!

A: Only at Low Tide!

Q: Does Crisfield Stink?

I took off for a Sunday last week and ventured to the former "Seafood Capital of the World". It appears that it is now the present "Bric-A-Brac/Seafood Souvenir Capital of the Tri-State Area".

The following are some of my summations from my Labor Day adventure.

1) The bars need a better selection of N/A beer. O'Douls is o.k., but Buckler's rocks!

2) The judges for the "Miss Crustacean" pageant should have at least been born after television was invented. I saw all the participants unboard the boat at the Tiki Bar and runner up #1 was way hotter than the winner (Note to Miss Congeniality: Keep working that angle).

3) That bar that sits over that restaurant on the main drag has the best music this side of the Chesapeake. And the cleanliness of their restroom makes mine look like an outhouse.

4) "A salesman never takes a day off"!

Down at the marina, I ran into D.J. from Sharp of Salisbury. I had purchased a water conditioner from his Dad's company almost two decades ago because yellow underwear made me look too thin. The unit recently has not been operating properly and I explained the situation to him. He was nice enough to give me the parts to fix my problem "gratis". So if anyone has a water problem, please give Sharp of Salisbury a call. They are the Buckler's of the water conditioners. I wonder if D.J. can some how take that smell out of Tangier Sound?

Name That Car ?

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Great Labor Day in Crisfield

More on that later. I gotta get this song from my feelings on before a seagull carries it out to sound.

Life is...

what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Only One By This Name (head bangin' 1991)

rock 'n roll will never die!!!

Just Remember...There is Always Tomorrow

Where is this Man? ( this man that gave us such great music)

Head Bangin' 1971 (Nilsson Schmilsson)

PLEASE VOTE for your favorite song of the same name,

or I will track you down and set up outside your house and play both songs simultaneously at full volume until your eardrums explode or the swat team drags me off to jail kicking and screaming-whichever comes first!