Monday, June 29, 2009

Coming Soon

My Great Grandfather:The Filibuster...

Is Ed McMahon Dead ?

At least once a day since last Tuesday, I have had to answer "yes" to this same query.

In March of 2002 my mother went to live at an assisted living facility.With the proceeds from the sale of her house plus her monthly retirement, I estimated that she could afford to reside there for about 3 years.When I asked the Director what her options were after that period of time had elapsed, she smiled at me and said something to the effect of "They don't usually 'stay' that long". I took it as most residents die within 3 years.


In late October of 2004 my mother moved in with me. I missed my estimation by a good 6 months because in 2003 they reevaluated her and told me that she was diagnosed with mild to moderate dementia and they needed to raise her rent about 15% a month. Now I know what Smiley meant when she said 'stay' that long.

I investigated several facilities to place my mother in before her nest egg ran out and she was evicted from "The Ritz-Carleton"(her term). The only place that would take her and her retirement income only was on the corner of Church St. and Naylor St. Every other assisted living facility around here needed an additional $600-$900 per month out of pocket(mine).She was not in need of a nursing home setting and even if she was, I would have had to drag her there "kicking and screaming". As a former social worker for the County, she told me and my brother once years ago that whatever happened to her in her old age: Don't you dare put me in a nursing home!

At almost 90 years old my mother may not know what day,month or year it is or who currently is the President of the United States-some of the criteria questions for determining dementia (I can remember the first 3 and am trying to forget the last), but I'll be damned if she does not know every word in the English language and it's meaning. While writing this post, I had to search the correct usage of the words affect and effect. Dictionary.com still had me confused so I asked a higher authority. So if effect is not correct, blame my mother.

Before I end this post, I must tell you that I just asked my mother those same 4 questions that upped her rent and sent her packing 6 months earlier than expected. She answered all with the same 2 words..."Who Cares!"

She has a home for life and I'll never raise her rent.



Sunday, June 28, 2009

I've Got WAY Too Much Time On My Hands!

Maybe I should put down this mouse and pick up a part time job. The following is a snapsot of what I have been working on for the last 2 hours.Let's see at the minimum wage of $6.55, I just blew
$13.10 searching for episode 183-5 of the Simpsons on any video channel that I could find.

Seeing that the USA soccer team will play Brazil in the finals of the Confederation Cup today at 2:30PM(EDT), I wanted to post a clip from a Simpson's episode that included a soccer match and the diversity of the play by play announcers. This should be easy,right? NOT!

First of all, I needed to know the title, year and number of the episode to make my video search a piece of cake.
This should be easy, (I have two complete guides to The Simpsons)right? NOT! Season 9 & 10 are not in either book.

After searching the internet, I finally found the title (The Cartridge Family), the year(1997) and the episode number(5).With all the info on hand,I went to google videos thinking that this should be easy,right? NOT!

All of episodes 183-5 had been removed due to copyright infringement violations sans one.The only one available was in Spanish. I have decided to post it , but I have included the Spanish to English translation for us "linguistically challenged" Americans.

*Note: the play by play that I was looking for runs from 2:05 to 2:23.What I want to know is why isn't the last 5 seconds in English? After all fair is fair.

Brockman:(obviously bored as he calls the action) "Halfback passes to the center...Back to the wing...Back to the center...Center holds it...Holds it.

Mexican announcer:(Excitedly) "HALFBACK PASSES TO CENTER!!! BACK TO WING!!! BACK TO CENTER!!! CENTER HOLDS IT!!! HOLDS IT!!! HOLDS IT!!!"

**Note: At 92' (minutes) Brazil is leading USA 3-2.

Is There Anybody Out There ? (nod if you can hear me)




Saturday, June 27, 2009

It Ain't Published 'Til Somebody Sees It

That's my credo and I'm damn glad that I have Site Meter to back me up!

I posted a tune that I thought (according to the title) was Shine A Light by the Rolling Stones. In actuality it was Champagne and Reefer, a Muddy Waters song redone by the Stones with a little help from their buddy, Mr.Guy. Good tune and you can't go wrong with Buddy Guy with an axe in his hands.However, being in a six step program, I did not feel comfortable leaving it posted.Besides,the only person that may have seen it was someone that "stumbled in" from Nova Scotia. He/she was probably misdirected by google.com ( where he/she was probably searching for a site to purchase a pair of those thick,wooly, brite colored socks that include the toes) anyway.

Besides, I was really in the mood for some Winwood anyway.

Reds,Whites and Blues (Wine & Blues) Festival

I have ordered my tickets for this event.TTF and I will be there.Here is the info:

WHAT: Food,Wine,Beer & Live Blues

WHERE: Bordeleau Vineyards & Winery
3155 Noble Farm Rd.
Eden,Maryland 21822

WHEN: July 4,2009 2PM til 7PM

WHO: CROSSROADS BLUES BAND & TOM LARSEN BAND


COST: $10 in advance or $20 at the gate

CONTACT: Kelly Fulton
443-235-9308

EVENT STATUS: Rain or shine

When I ordered my tickets,Kelly said that sales were sluggish.She was placing signs all over the place.I asked her if she had contacted any blogs and she said that she had talked to Albero.I gave her the link to TWO SENTZ and told her to try there.The event will be held and the 2 bands will appear.It will be held indoors or out,depending on ticket sales.Food will be supplied by SOBOs and here is the best part...you can bring your own beer.I am thinking of an ice cold,vintage 2009 St.Pauli Girl N/A Brew.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Breaking News:Say It Ain't So!

It has been reported that Michael Jackson has died of cardiac arrest. I hope that this is not true!

Unfortunately it is true.God bless his soul.



(A Comment Worthy Of A Post)

I made a comment today that included the statement (I don't get out much!). I would like to remove the contents from within those parentheses.
There are a lot of reasons for why, to quote my childhood idol (Ernest T. Bass), that I have hermitized myself. Over the last several years I have suffered the stress of being the anchor for my real family and my work family. Also, I felt that I could not go out to a bar or night club without the fortification of massive amounts of alcohol (and that is a no no).
Well, the anchor is out of the water now and I would like to get out of the house again.
And tomorrow night is the perfect chance, as I have the whole weekend off (a rarity).
Any interest out there? I certainly don't want to go alone.
TTF, do you have any plans for Friday?
Tim, for two people that have so much in common and have become blog buddies, it is a shame that we have never met in person to "catch up on old times, so to speak".
Any interest from anyone in the vicinity that may frequent this blog on an infrequent basis?
I would not even know where to go, since it has been so long. I want to hear some good music, sip on an N/A beer or two, "shoot the shit" and just relax. Toodles!


Name That Tune Answer

It was "Rockin' the Town", a 1938 tune by Ted Koehler and Johnny Green.
The version in Loco Boy Makes Good was lifted from the 1939 film Blondie Meets The Boss.
These tunes were played by Skinny Ennis' Band. Sorry for the delay with the answer(I forgot).

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Do You Believe In Miracles (pt.2)?

No,it is not the Olympics or even the World Cup...but USA just beat top ranked Spain 2-0 in the semifinals of the Confederations Cup.



Is it deja vu...all over again?



Things have changed a lot since that day in late February 1980(the game was taped,but we did not know who had won when we watched it).With the whole world connected via the internet,you basically can't "fart" in Salisbury,Md. without someone in Salisbury,England knowing about it almost instantly.Don't get me wrong,I love the internet...one moment please...I just checked the status of my tee shirt at the FedEx website.At 1:11pm today it left Hagerstown headed for Salisbury.It should reach it's final destination(between my storm door and my front door)sometime tomorrow.If it doesn't,I will google "Salisbury,England newspapers".

*The Salisbury Daily Astonisher,June 26,2009 Headline:

"54 yr.old Man Strangles Wife With Tee Shirt"

54 year old LeRoyd B. Slemons was accused of attempted murder today after his wife received an unsolicited package in the mail.The package delivered to their 2nd story walk up contained a large grey tee shirt with the image of a scruffy looking man carrying a diminutive old woman on his back.Words were exchanged between Slemons and his 44 year old wife,Blinky Slazenger-Slemons that led to the former being arraigned and incarcerated at the Dickerson Road station.At his bond hearing before Magistrate J.Lorry Rinky,Slemons pleaded innocence by reason of insanity."I thought that she was playing me for a lark.A bloke can only take so much!If she thought that I was going to wear that thing then she's a screamin' idiot.I been supportin' her and 'er mother for goin' on 26 years.Blink ain't so bad,but 'er mum has been like a monkey on me back for too damn long and all me buddies laugh about it any way.I'll be damned if I was gonna walk around wearin' that thing and advertise it for all to see and know.Besides,who's going to feed the geese if I'm doing porridge?"



Update: Package arrived at Lewisberry,PA at 7:43pm.I don't like what I see.Why did it not head due east to 21801? And why did it take 6 1/2 hrs.to go such a short distance? Isn't Lewisberry the depot for all overseas packages? Poor Blinky!

Updated at 7:13am: Package is on FedEx vehicle at Seaford,DE for delivery.It's not here yet,but it appears a tragedy has been averted.I will keep you updated through out the day.Say a little prayer for Blinky,just in case.

Final update at 10:23am: Left at front door.Signature Service not requested.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

D-I-V-O-R-C-E : American Style/ The Kids Will Be Alright

Staying together for the sake of the kids is akin to carving a jack-o-lantern,but never lighting the candle.What's the point?



I have always reasoned that my divorce was a blessing in disguise.



It made me realize what was really important in life and forced me to prioritize.

Edward Leo Peter "Ed" McMahon,Jr.(1923-2009)

Larger than Life...

Monday, June 22, 2009

I Want It and I Want It Now !!!

I saw something on T.V. the other day that put all the blame for our current economic situation on us Baby Boomers.We are the first generation to fore go the "pay as you go" plan for the "pay when you can" plan.We could also now be labeled as the "credit card" generation.Until we are no longer the largest segment of the population,the Boomer generation will continue to drive the economy(even if it is in to a ditch).

As a Boomer,I am as guilty as the next guy or gal who was born between 1946 and 1964.
Well,old habits are hard to break!

Case in point:
I decided that I just had to have a tee shirt with the front and back album covers from Neil Young's "After The Gold Rush" emblazoned on it.I went online and found a site that was offering a summer clearance sale on just such an item.The only size offered was a large(cotton shrinks,right?)and it was half off regular price($30).
A good deal until it came to the shipping costs.For snail mail the cost was $8.Super snail mail was $12.For $16 I can have it on Thursday(my pick).For $59.99 the door bell will ring as soon as I click on purchase confirmed.I spent more on shipping than I did on the item.

So don't put me down for screwing up the economy.I am just a product of my generation and like the title reads...I Want It and I Want It Now!!!



Friday, June 19, 2009

Name That Tune

Whenever the trials and tribulations of that daily grind we call life gets you down, I find laughter to be the best medicine.And what better antidote than a healthy dose of "Curly" Howard on the dance floor.Can anyone name the song (@2:10) that is playing while Jerome is displaying his talents?


Thursday, June 18, 2009

Calling Doctor Gerald ?

*** Before reading this post,please search "Gerald" on my blog's toolbar ***

Yes,Gerald is still alive.
No,Gerald is now living in Memphis,Tennessee.
No,Gerald is not a millionaire who made a fortune in Silicon Valley.
But...

There is a strong possibility that Gerald,aka Jerry,is a Doctor.

If this is true and I hope that it is,then the old saying: "No good deed goes unrewarded" may hold water after all.

Let it be true!


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Mystery Of "Honor Brite" Has Been Solved (Maybe).

A week or so ago,I installed Sitemeter on this blog just for the kicks.Something else to keep my idle mind from becoming the devil's playground.As I stated several days ago,I was surprised at the hits that I get.The #1 googled entry page is "Honor Brite" with a whopping total of 4.I wondered why and decided to investigate this phenomenon.

On Jan.19,2008,I titled a 3 video post with the words "Honor Brite".The last video(now unavailable) was my way of paying tribute to Robert E. Lee on the anniversary of his birth.I also put in 2 videos of the song "Games People Play" by the Alan Parsons Project that included the lyrics:"Games people play,you take it or you leave it.Things that they say,Honor Brite...".

I googled "honor brite" and my post came up as the first choice.Then I checked out Dictionary.com and found zilch.I then changed the spelling from ite to ight and got some answers.

One site explained it this way...They were Cherokee words which,when spoken,meant truth and honor in one blazing moment.

Upon further research,I found a Pop punk band from Syracuse,NY. called Honor Bright.
They took their name from a D.H. Lawrence story.Their Wikipage states the words are English slang for 'being honest'.

My last inquiry found a book by Lewis Sorley titled "Honor Bright: History and Origins of the West Point Honor Code and System".If you are a history buff and or admirer of R.E. Lee,you may already know that he was and is the only graduate of the U.S. Military Academy to never receive a single demerit.

So,if you are still with me after all this drivel,I have come to the conclusion that
my #1 "stumble ins" were probably searching for the Pop punk band or the book by Dr.Sorley.

Before I add my usual videos,I must admit that my first source for information is not Google or the 2 1/2" dictionary that is always within arms reach.Nope,my primary resource sits just a holler away in the room off the kitchen.I asked my almost 90 year old mother for the meaning of "Honor Brite".After she corrected my spelling to "bright" and asked me to use it in a sentence(lol),she said that it meant the absolute truth.What do I need Google for,when I have such a wealth of knowledge within earshot!











Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Today In My History: June 16th

1953~

Dear Mother,
Hope you have recovered from the shock of having a new grandchild.
Griff said you seemed really stunned over the phone.Even so,you are no more surprised than I was.
I was also surprised when they said it was a girl.She will be named after me.Griff said Herbert put up quite a howl because it wasn't Ridgely.But otherwise,they are getting along quite well at home.
I saw her this morning for the first time.Griff thinks she looks like Herbert.I can't tell.She has a little more hair and it's darker,but maybe just because it is matted.
Love,Kay

That excerpt was from a letter that my Mother wrote to her mother the day after my sister was born in 1953.Sis passed away in August of 2000.

2008~

One year ago today,I helped my brother "pack his things" for the trip to the hospital.Before he made the call to 911,he said to me that it was kind of odd that today was Sis's birthday.He knew he was dying and would not be back to his house.
Even so,he told me to turn off the A/C(I assume he did not want to run up the electric bill).
I think that he also reminded me again about his golf clubs.A year or so before,he had hidden $2000.00 in his golf bag.The money was for his burial costs.He did not want that financial burden to be put on his family.

Today~

On a brighter note; My daughter called me to tell me that she had secured her first
"on her own" apartment.She still thinks that I worry "too" much,but I don't.I still worry,but not "too" much.She will do just fine.She has a good head on her shoulders.
She is "all grown up" now.Actually,she has always had a good head on her shoulders.In my opinion,she was born "all grown up".



Sunday, June 14, 2009

The World Wide Wait Is Over-I'm On The Road Again!

Well,I finally broke down and did it. Actually,my computer finally broke down and made me do it.
I can't say that I will miss her,but I did get used to the routine that usually got me online and made it possible to surf the internet and write a post or two on my blog.
First,I would turn her on and wait for my internet icon to pop up.I was having a good day if my signal strength was "good"(I have seen "very low" on numerous occassions).
Next,I would click on the Mozilla Firefox icon and wait for it to connect with Comcast.Once I was on the internet,I would slowly make my rounds to each of my destinations.However,not until the balloon popped up to inform me that my "virtual memory was low and windows was increasing it",did the computer finally pick up a head of steam and run(correction:walk)quicker.
And then there were the "Crashes"!They started back in April.I got a break in May,but they started again this month.Two days ago,the "crashes" got so bad that I think I got a glimpse of the dreaded BLUE SCREEN of DEATH.
At this point,I had had enough,so I called my local Tech Support and said,"Meet at Best Buy,Stat".
For less than the price of 4 general admission tickets to the next Springsteen concert,I got the following:
A Compaq desktop with 3 GB of Memory and 250 GB Hard Drive. 19" monitor with speakers, keyboard,mouse and printer/scanner.
Now,all this is way more than I need for what I need to do,but I finally did it.
It is like trading in an old clunker for a Lamborghini.I would never red line it,but I sure won't miss pushing that old car home again!
Here's one last slow version:


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

M T B

I'm in a 1973 kind of mood.I need to shake it off.I gotta get to bed.I gotta a Dr. appointment tomorrow.I gotta go in there all bright eyed and bushy tailed,so he won't add one more 'script to my daily regiment.Oh,fuck it! What's one more song...


...And Cold Beer At A Reasonable Price!

I recently added Sitemeter to my blog and let me tell you that I was surprised at what I saw.My blog gets more traffic than what I thought.
I thought that the only visitors that ever came here were my daughter and my two commenters.Occasionally,I will get a computer generated comment(usually in broken English)that praises my writings and invites me to visit their site.The telemarketers are everywhere nowadays(just stay outta my dreams)!
The surprise was that the majority of my visits come by way of what I call "Stumble Ins".They "stumbled in" when they searched something on Google and they "stumbled out" just as quickly(length of visit=0 seconds).Today,I have had visits from five of the United States and from Germany and Sweden.
The funniest "stumble in" was the internet user from Charlotte,N.C. that googled "Good God Girdy".My post from November 28,2007 titled "gOoD gOd GuRdY...I Need My Medicine!!!" was the #1 entry.If he/she had stuck around for...oh,let's say 483 seconds,they would have seen and heard a great performance from the BOSS.I will replay it here.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Six Degrees Of Separation/It's A Small World

If you have never heard of the "Six Degrees of Separation",here is the premise in a nut shell: Everyone is at most six steps away from knowing any other person on Earth.

The reason that I am posting this "Human Web" theory is because I am now on Facebook.
Believe it or not,my daughter "friended" me the other day-what the hell was she thinkin'?.It occurred to me after searching friends of friends of friends etc.,that maybe there is something to this six steps thing.

I now have three friends on my Facebook page and will be searching for more.In fact,on Thursday I will be getting together with a friend that I have not seen in probably 30 years.He and his wife are coming to Salisbury to visit their son and his family.

Back to this theory.Anyone remember the offshoot known as the "Kevin Bacon Game"?
Sure you have.Every actor can be linked to Kevin Bacon in six steps or less.Now I have never been in a film or on Broadway,but I did portray Christopher Columbus in my fifth grade play.That being said,I can connect (with some liberties via Alexis Denisof's Father,aka the Mayor of Tyaskin) to Kevin Bacon in five steps.

But,I can beat that.I can connect with Al Pacino in two steps.In the late 1970's I lived two doors down from the victim in the following clip,which by the way is one of my favorite movie scenes.

IT REALLY IS A SMALL WORLD,AFTER ALL!



Saturday, June 6, 2009

Phew (sigh of relief)!

I got my June(for May) electric bill today and opened it gingerly.I was happily surprised,after what happened last month(May for April).
My April usage was close to triple the electric that I had used in April of 2008.
My first thought was that I had a leak in my water line that caused my water pump to run 24/7.Or maybe a neighbor had tapped into my service.Last chance scenario:Maybe my Mother was running an off-track betting site from my computer while I was at work.
Today,I found out the answer.Not only do I owe Delmarva Power $0.00 for last month,I have a credit of $53.76 (they made a mistake).I think that I will call them and request a check in that amount.Yeah,fat chance of that happening.Besides,I think that their Customer Service Department has been outsourced to Wango and I just can't understand those people.
One more thing.The following are Mom's top picks for today's Belmont:

Chocolate Candy
Dunkirk
Mine That Bird
Flying Private

P.S.- Any DP customers out there that had this same problem?


Thursday, June 4, 2009

I Was Born A Generation And A Half Too Early

When I was a kid and the Beatles came on the scene,we listened to their music on 45 rpm records on a mono-speaker turntable.Our instruments were a broomstick(guitar),empty hat boxes and chair spokes(drum kit) and a hairbrush(microphone,of course).
Our rating system was determined by how long it took our father to bang on the ceiling with his guitar(broomstick).If we made it half way through "She Loves You" before his banging made the record skip,then we had done good.Only after we scotch-taped a fishing sinker to the arm of the record player did we reach the expert level.

YEAH,YEAH,YEAH!


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Cathy,Kathy,Cathi or Kathi?

I borrowed an album from a friend in the early 1980's.It was by a Kathy(?) McDonald and it was really good.I searched her discography and could find nothing from that time period.This must be her,because I never forget a voice.Ever heard of her?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Guns,Guns,Guns,Guns,Guns and One for Good Measure (see previous post and comment)











Well,We'll See About That!

I went to a site today that rates your blog using movie ratings.I typed in my url and lo and behold,afterthegoldrush was rated G for general audiences.The only bad mark was the fact that I had mentioned GUN(1) once.At least you could have given me a PG-13.A G is poison in this business.Well,we will see what you think of me now!


Keep On Smilin'