Friday, October 31, 2008

How To Carve a Pumpkin

I have lived in this house for 16 Halloweens and have not had 16 trick or treaters in all that time.
Halloween is not what it used to be.Back in the 1960's, my parents would open the door and pass out candy to almost 200 "door-knockers".

My mother never liked this so-called holiday. She referred to it as "gimme gimme day".
I don't care for October 31 either.I don't like strangers knockin' on my door any day of the year.
If I did, I would decorate my yard with cobwebs and jack-o-lanterns.

I will have candy available, just in case.But, I always buy something that I can consume.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Sweatstock (1969)

"Give That Fan A Contract !"- Rex Barney

The "City of Brotherly Love" is World Series Champion. I actually watched the entire game for a change. It helped that it was only 3+ innings long. Hey, I get up early to go to work in the salt mines. It's not like it was my team, the Orioles. I'll be dead or retired by the time that they make a post season appearance.

Philadelphia should be proud of the Phillie's organization, management and players, as well as the fans.

The fans did not burn down the city and all in all were actually well behaved - well almost!

There was the following incident that was caught on tape.

The bad news is that some dumbass (shirtless also) climbed up on a traffic light pole and was brought down by a perfect toss.

The good news is that 4 or 5 NFL teams that are in need of an accurate quarterback may have a prospect.

Give that fan a contract!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Is There Anybody Out There?

It is the age old question.
Are we alone in the universe?
Is there other intelligent life out there?
What's the deal with Area 51?
Have we been visited by extraterrestrials (other than in trailer parks in Louisiana)?

It occurred to me today that maybe WE are the aliens.
Maybe WE lived on a planet that was going "condo" and we had to move.
Maybe WE packed up our shit and hit the road.Maybe WE were running out of fuel and stopped on planet Earth for a bite to eat and some petrol, before continuing on.

Maybe WE decided to stay.
Maybe WE are the aliens.
Maybe WE brought those dinosaur bones with us.
Who the hell knows.You would have to ask Sam Cassell, because Rick James and Marty Feldman are gone!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

Phillie Inpherno

To do list for a Phillie's phanatic:

1) Call in sick two days in advance.

2) Steal tickets out of wife's purse as she sleeps.

3) Fill phlask disguised as binoculars with liquor.

4) Call bail bondsman and put on retainer.

5) Mail velvet painting of Mike Schmidt to Trenton,NJ without postage (DO NOT FORGET TO INCLUDE RETURN ADDRESS).

6) Meet buddy at corner tavern and sell him wife's ticket.

7) Down 8 beers and 2 cheesesteaks.

8) Arrive at stadium and park in handicapped parking space (DO NOT FORGET TO LIMP).

9) Shout obscenities at every man, woman and child attired in Tampa Bay Rays gear.

10) Torch the city after team wins World Series!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

An Amazing Day!

Well,we did it.
We fulfilled a dying man's last requests.
It was all that he had asked for and then some.
It was an Amazing Day!

In attendance were five family members,
Eighteen dear friends,
And one rambunctious dog that resembled Petey.
What an Amazing Day!

One of his closest friends borrowed a kayak and paddled out to the middle of the pond.
Let me tell you that it was no easy task as the wind was gusting towards the shore at 30-40mph.
We had yet to see rain, but the sky was one large cloud and dark as dusk.
But yet,what an Amazing Day!

While "Blue Sky" played, my brother's ashes were scattered where he had wished them to be.
Standing on the shore, hugging my daughter as we both fought back tears,the most amazing thing happened.As soon as the last ash hit the water,I looked up to the sky to say goodbye and I saw the sun! It appeared at that very moment out of no where.It only stayed a few minutes.

Maybe there is a hereafter.
Maybe there is a Heaven.
Only he knows now.
I still can't get over the fact that the sun came out at that very moment.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Friday, October 24, 2008

It Was A '56 Chrysler

Let It Rain

The forecast for tomorrow calls for rain.

I was so afraid that when I got home from work tonight that I would have a message on my voice mail from my brother's oldest daughter stating that the event was canceled due to inclement weather.No message is a good thing.

Brothers are not fair weather friends, they are all weather friends.

Let it rain!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

The Geezers Have Never Left

This band was originated in 1961 and is possibly the oldest rock band still performing.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

The Boys Are Back

I love this band! From THE BLACK ALBUM in 1980 to yesterday,I love this band!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Let The Voting Begin

Evidently, it already has.I was startled to hear today that 1/3 of the electorate have the option to cast their vote before the first Tuesday in November.I assume that the 3 letter networks will announce the winner tonight on their evening broadcasts.

I am not endorsing either of the candidates as both of them are unacceptable in my opinion.

I will vote, because it is the cornerstone of our way of government.

Who I will vote for can be found in 3 lines in the following song.

Betcha can't guess those 3 lines?

Friday, October 17, 2008

The Baritone Remembered

I remember singing this song on the sidewalk in front of my friend's house on Walnut the mid 1960s.Me,my brother,my friend Gary and his brother,Ronnie.We were the Four Tops in that moment and time.It's amazing the little tidbits of one's past that are recollected with a nudge.

I also remember this movie and all the times that my daughter and I watched it.Memories are great!


The following three songs are from a Youtube contributor that I came upon the other day while I was searching for God knows what. The first song I remember from The J.Geils Band.I believe that it was written and performed by Otis Rush.I like this version because the band includes a sax and a big bass guitar. As my brother would say:It ain't a real band if it don't have a sax(he was old school). All three selections are from obscure bands that I have never heard of.But I like obscure.I enjoy the hunt for a diamond in the rough.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Say It Ain't So Marcia,Marcia,Marcia(The Lost Brady Bunch Episode)

I'm appalled. The dream girl of 1950's born guys was a crack ho?
I'm appalled.I thought Marcia Brady was a good girl.
I'm not really appalled, I always liked Jan better any way.
Actually, I could care less about either one of you or that pigtailed sister of yours.
I just wanted a venue to post the following song that included the line..."She's a good girl".

The Stock Market Up Over 11%

Friday,I called my financial adviser to advise me on what to do with my diminishing retirement account. I just wanted him to tell me what I already knew.I may be dumb,but I'm not stupid.If I pulled out all my money,then I would be looking at losing 1/3 0f my investment.If I stayed in,I could recoup my losses.Should I Stay or should I Go Now?...Sounds like a trio of choices to me!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Little Engine That Could

Thursday,October 30,2008
Fenway Park
Game 7
LA @ Boston
Bottom of the 9th
2 outs
Score tied
Jason Bay on 1st
Mark Kotsay at the plate
Crack of the bat
Ball hit towards left field
Ball rattles around in left field corner

What the fuck happened
Don't ask me
I was sitting in my car listening to the game on the radio because I had to cancel my cable and my electric has been turned off and my employer has cut my hours in half because they can't get the credit to meet payroll and I can't pay my bills even if I wanted to withdraw money from my retirement funds because there is nothing left and I am expected to vote next Tuesday because it is my civic duty.

Vote for who? Another crook that will take what little that I have left.I have nothing left but my dreams!

At the homeless shelter,I was able to access the computer for 5 minutes (cost me a trash bag of recyclable bottles) and I now know the outcome of the game.

The Sox win again

Manny is still Manny

And Al Bundy is my hero!

Monday, October 6, 2008

I Have To Go Home

Rest in Peace

I have no idea why I am such an unbeliever when it comes to the "afterlife". I grew up in a family that was not irreligious. We all went to church on Sunday morning. My mother was in charge of the altar guild.My father broadcast the services on his radio station.My sister and I were in the choir and my brother and I were acolytes.

But I never did 'git dat ole tyme religion' feeling.

I never did get that epiphany that makes you shake and holler and speak in tongues and throw away your crutches and walk the good life toward the divine experience.


I have so many issues, if I ever got to the pearly gates, St.Peter would have to take over the payments on my Lil Rascal scooter in order for me to enter.

Enough of me.

October 25th is the date for my brother's memorial.

A year before he died, he told me(and his youngest daughter) of his wishes.

He wanted his memorial to be held at a certain place in Delaware.
He wanted all his friends to attend and make it a party.
He wanted the following song to be played.

Worstest Episode Ever

If I don't get that song out of my head, then I am going to go to the local pawn shop,have them do a background check,wait the seven days and insert handgun in mouth!

Screw that idea...I don't have the money or the time to invest.

Bestest idea...Change the channel!

Sunday, October 5, 2008


I have a new favorite TV show. At least for now(remember I have ADHD).
If you have a myth...they will bust it or confirm it.

I did not need any verification on the following myths as I am a parent to a very high spirited child.

Can Cats Fly?

Can A namdnilB Solve Rubik's Cube?

Can You Really Get Free Food Or Drinks At A Restaurant?

Friday, October 3, 2008

And The Winner Is.......(part2)

I actually watched all 90 minutes of the VP debate last night.I came away with three thoughts:

1) Biden is not as dumb as the media has portrayed him to be.

2) Palin is hotter than the media has portrayed her to be.

3) I had an unusual urge to dust off a decade old video,pop some popcorn and hit PLAY.

Is There A Doctor In The House?

I picked up the green garden hoe and proceeded to eradicate the weeds around the six tomato plants that lay in the rectangle in my back yard. It reminded me of the Champs-Elyse'es in Paris.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

And The Winner Is.......

There are numerous predictors that foresee the winner of each Presidential election.

Some of these predictors have proven over the years to hold true.

If the National League wins the World Series, the incumbent party will lose.

Whoever's halloween mask that is the best seller will win the White House.

When the Washington Redskins win their last home game before the election, the incumbent party retains the oval office.

And then there are some obscure predictors that focus on the menstrual cycles of sitting first ladies, but Goldrush ain't goin' there!(I've always been a fan of Eleanor Roosevelt).

At this point in my life, it does not matter who is the next leader of the free world.Nothing will change.My retirement fund will dwindle,I will work until I die and each day will be Groundhog Day.

Go Skins ! Hip Hip Hooray!