Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Week That Was...May 1984

I experienced more life changing events in one week in May of 1984 than most people experience in a month, a year or a lifetime.
During this one particular week:
I was almost killed in an automobile accident.
I was taken in for questioning by the Sheriff's Department for an offense, that if convicted, carried a long sentence.
I began employment with a company that I am still working for.
I had my first date with my ex-wife and the mother of my child.

THE RAIN OUT

Three of my friends and I were headed to Baltimore to see an Orioles game.We were on the "old" Vienna bridge when a log truck headed east lost part of it's load just as we were passing.Our car could not avoid the debris and one of the tires blewout.If not for the NASCAR-like driving of JRB,we would have ended up in the Nanticoke River(presumably drowned). After fixing the tire and continuing west,the skies darkened and we heard on the radio that the game had been cancelled.

WRONG PLACE...WRONG TIME

I went to a party in a Townhouse with 200 other people, where alcohol was served. It was a "college party"(duh!). I was "hittin'" on a few chicks,"drinkin" alot of alcohol and "passin"out on a couch.When the sun rose, there weren't 20 people in the house.I hitched a ride home with two college students in a purple VW (that would be real believable to the investigators the next day, when they asked me how I got home).
The next day, I was taken in for questioning for a rape that occurred on the SSC campus.The female victim had been at the party and had been assaulted while walking back to her dorm.I recall the detective asking me "What kind of shirts do you wear? O.P."? I replied,"What's O.P."?Then he walked over to the "Evidence locker" and pulled out a denim jacket that was left at the scene.He had me put it on and it fit perfectly. At this point, I asked him if I should get a lawyer. Of course, his reply was "That's up to you". Before they took me home,he wanted to take my picture,so he could show it to the girl to see if I was the guy. I refused as he had already told me that the girl was "pretty wasted"and she could have mistaken me for the real perp.The detective visited me the following day with an artist's sketch of the assailant.It did not look anything like me and the detective absolved me of any involvement in the crime.Of course I was innocent! Rape is a crime of violence~ and I am the most nonviolent person that you would ever meet.

The weird part of this investigation was the information gathered by the detective from two individuals, when asked if I was capable of committing a RAPE.

The first was from one of my best friends, and the second was from his half-brother, who was a process server for the Sheriff's Department.

Best friend:

"I guess, if you're drunk enough, you can do anything"!

Half-brother:

"Rape? That guy gets more p---- than you and me combined"(sorry for the language, but that's what the man said).Wasn't true.

WORK,WORK,WORK

I will not dwell on the fact that I have worked for the same company for over 20 years.I am the same person, but they are not. I hate my job and I believe that the company hates me. I am making a wage and benefits that could be cut in half if my job could be subjugated to a "Monkey with a note in his hand". Dream on, you pencil pushers.P.S.,Thanks for the 80 g!

THE DATE

I am the luckiest man alive. I had tried to woo this GIRL on several occasions and she turned me down. The final day of the week the phone rang and it was the GIRL.We went out,we got engaged,we got married and we got divorced.But along the way, we found what we were both looking for~HAPPINESS !

Friday, August 29, 2008

I'll Take A Grilled Cheese For My Running Mate

This year's Presidential election is becoming almost surreal.
We have three Senators and a Governor(that no one has even heard of) running for office.
I don't care for either one of them, so I will write in my vote for President.

STEWIE FOR PRESIDENT !

Besides, of all those running, he is the only one that has attended a "Dead" concert.And that gives us something in common.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

The N Word

It's time to retire # 14.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

ninetyninetytwo



Propofol and the Wailers

I have been put to sleep twice in the last 8 days with the drug PROPOFOL.
As far as I am aware, I was out like a light as soon as the dose hit my vein.
After watching this video, I may be mistaken and I may have been speaking in "La La Land".



After the procedure, Charles (the endoscopy tech) woke me up and asked me the following question:

Who Shot The Sheriff?

I immediately replied - Eric Clapton...and Bob Marley.

Evidently I was speaking in tongues as some point.

Does This Mean That I'm Just Getting Old ?

Yesterday, I had my EGD (Upper G.I.).
After last week's colonoscopy that ruled out colon cancer, I just knew that I would be diagnosed with stomach cancer. I was ready to prepay my funeral arrangements, write my obit and make "life without me" as uncomplicated as I could for my family members.

My diagnosis:

I THINK TOO MUCH !

The diagnosis:

I do not have cancer.
I do not have an ulcer.
I do not have anemia.

What I do have is a mild case of gastritis and diverticulitis.

The remedy:

Stomach acid blocker as needed, more fiber in my diet and a daily vitamin.

Last but not least, I need to stop worrying about things that I can not control.

If I do what my doctor(s) say and I play my cards right.......

I may live to enjoy my "twilight years" (I be the guy on the right) !!!!!!!



Monday, August 25, 2008

it is...



...what it is

Forgotten,Canceled or Refused...

I admit that I completely forgot about what occurred 39 years, a week and a half ago in Bethel,NY.
I know who played there on August 15-18,1969, but not until today did I know who canceled or refused.
Joni Mitchell,who penned the song "Woodstock", canceled to appear on the Dick Cavett Show.
Led Zeppelin, the Doors and the Beatles also opted out(they refused), as did the following band, whom I've never heard of:



I, however, remember this band that showed up to play:

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Bufo Alvarius...Ham Biscuits...Peanuts And Pabst...Parade

It's not that I am getting lazy or running out of ideas(well,maybe I am) for posting,but I searched my blog using the keywords in my title to find some of my better posts from the past.The following 4 can be read by typing the keyword in the block at the top of the page and clicking search blog.(This post will be first,so scroll down).







Friday, August 22, 2008

Where Were You Tomorrow

The best song title ever, by the best (unrecognized) band ever!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Alive and Kicking

Just a post to say that I made it thru my lower g.i.
One polyp removed(it was sent off for testing,but the Dr. wasn't concerned).
Also, Metamucil will now be on my grocery list.

Next week I go in for my upper g.i.
I hope the outcome is as positive.

By the way,the following band played at SSC not long after the release of their one hit wonder and I was in attendance:

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The Last Supper

I knew that the menu from the Last Supper was slim on choices,but I googled it anyway for the sake of accuracy. Yep, just what I thought:Bread and Wine. What,no dessert? Twelve guys going to a dinner and not one of them thought to stop at a bakery to pick up a cake or some pastry?(just kidding,Supreme Being).

Tonight is my last supper until Tuesday evening. On the menu is:

T-Bone Steak
Spinach Souffle
Onion Rings
Sock It To Me Creme Cake

Tomorrow I will eat breakfast(something I never do) and my only intake thereafter can be clear broth, clear liquid,jello and ice pops(no red,orange or purple).

Oh yea,I also have to take two laxatives-one at 4 pm and one at 8pm. and drink plenty of water/clear liquids.

The next morning, I have to give myself two enemas.If the last 24 hours was not enough fun, I get to have a guy stick a camera up my ass.

Yes, I have to have a colonoscopy.

Wish me luck and say a prayer for me.I would say one myself, but I think that my first paragraph would negate any good that I may have had with the" man upstairs".

The next few days may be as hard on me as is finding a video to accompany this post!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Dear R......~ 8/21/03

Just a quick note as I sit here thinking about Sis.We used to say that whoever died first would promise to try to contact the living one.On her birthday and on Sunday I waited and waited for a sign.I still feel her presence whenever I think about her but she hasn't sent any lightning bolts so far.
I can't believe she's been gone three years.I read parts of her journal from time to time and parts of it are really funny in spite of the overall sadness.She kept her sense of humor in spite of everything.
I think about you and your mom and wonder how she's doing,if she is still in the house...I don't have anyone to keep me informed anymore.If I ever get down to Salisbury I'll try to look you up-I had lost your address and just came across it. I hope you haven't moved.I guess it's just nice to touch base with you-you're my connection to her.I miss her as I know you do.Well,hope you are well and hope everything is going well in your life.

Take Care.
Susan

My sister passed away 8 years ago tomorrow.

I think about her a lot, as I do my brother and my father.

Just because someone's physical being dies, their spiritual being lives forever in the memories of those who loved them.

Susan said in her letter that she "waited and waited for a sign".The fact that Sis was still in her memory 'Was the Sign'!

I love ya, Sis!

Friday, August 15, 2008

Tech Support Flummoxed!

When I have a problem with my car, I call a mechanic and it is fixed.
When I have a problem with bugs, I call an exterminator and it is fixed.
When I have a problem with my computer, I call Tech Support and it is a freakin' nightmare!

Yesterday, when I logged onto my computer, I could not connect to my Internet Provider.I had a signal and I was able to connect to my browser, but I could not access the internet. To me that is like withholding heroin from a junkie...so I called my "dealer".

My "dealer" had me on the phone for well over an hour. He was a nice enough guy and spoke perfect English. He admitted that he was not that familiar with the browser that I used and I could tell. I could hear him muttering to himself as he referenced my problem in the "help book".

"Shit,that's not it".
"Firefox,Firefox,Firefox? Damn,that ain't it".

The guy had me try everything in his power of knowledge to connect me to the internet:
He had me searching the inner depths of my "hardware" or is it "software". If I knew the difference, I would not have called him in the first place!

Cookies, caches and the like are Greek to me. He finally consulted with his fellow colleagues and the consensus was that my problem was with my "security system" and he connected me with their customer service department.Actually, I think it was close to "miller time" and he had enough "Tech Support" for one day. I can appreciate that, as I work in retail(most customers suck).

My internet security system's Tech was more knowledgeable and less time consuming. She had me turn off my Firewall and then try to connect to the internet. I was way ahead of her."If that does not work, then it is not your problem,right?".

It did not work. She gave me an 800 # for Microsoft tech support and suggested that was my next step to resolve the problem.

HELL NO! I had been on the phone for several hours and my ear was tired and I was "jonesing".

I hung up the phone and decided to deal with my withdrawal symptoms the only way that I could.I pulled out my collection of battery operated hand held games, but they were too boring. I simulate it to trying to put out a 5 alarm fire with a squirt gun.

Finally, I had an epiphany.

Years ago, when I had a problem with my computer and Tech Support was not outsourced or relegated to a minimum wage job, a savvy tech support dude suggested that I "RESTORE MY SETTINGS TO AN EARLIER DATE" before the problem appeared.

GUESS WHAT,I DID IT AND IT WORKED! IF IT HAD NOT WORKED,YOU WOULD NOT BE READING THIS POST AND I WOULD BE PLAYING A BORING BATTERY OPERATED GAME.

Oh yes, my drug of choice is running through my veins once again!






Sunday, August 10, 2008

What the Hell Is Going On?

Why is everybody dying?

Rest in Peace...Isaac Hayes

Stones vs. Beatles

The idea for this post came from Tim Chaney's blog(you know the blog that has 4 times as many profile views as mine!) Just kiddin' with ya Tim...but it's true.That's what you get for messin' with The Wicked Witch of the G.O.B.

My father owned a radio station in Delaware from the mid 1950's to the mid 1960's.It was small time and catered to the local yokels.Country music, news on the hour and ads for farm implement businesses.It started out doing very well,but ended up in the crapper.It seems that a lot of his advertisers bulked at paying their bills.No money coming in...no radio waves going out.The FCC saw to that .But I digress!

One positive that came out of the last paragraph was the fact that us kids got a shit load of promo records that no self respecting 5000 watt Country Music station would spin and broadcast.

When my Dad brought home a demo from Vee-Jay Records I was hooked.More demos by Capitol Records followed and I was lined and sinkered.



I remember riding in the back seat of a 1961 Valiant station wagon with my great aunt when the following song came on the radio.I think this song was #1 at the time and it was my favorite.I was probably 8 years old at the time and my great aunt was probably in her 70's.She heard the first few notes and lines and replied..."That's Horrid!".No,Aunt Eleanor, that's the Stones!





Back to the question at hand:

Stones or Beatles?

Let me tell you something.Gimme Shelter and Sympathy For The Devil are two of my favorite songs.If I had the choice between either one of the two or any two songs by the Beatles to be played as my funeral dirge, I would have to pick the Stones.But being that I was never in the military, I do not require or want a dirge.

I would have to say that the Stones have given me more musical enjoyment over the years;due to their longevity.However,I would have to rank the Beatles as my favorite by .0000001% point by virtue of the following-my favorite album of all-time!

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Friday, August 8, 2008

Olympic Memories

I can sum up my "Olympic Memories in 8 words/2 phrases.
Both were witnessed by me live.

"They're All Gone!"



"Do You Believe In Miracles"



LIFE WOULD BE A DREAM (IF HUMANS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Brett Favre Saga

Until today I was sympathetic on the side of the Packers. After hearing the latest news, I can only offer up the following song.These kids have some strong roots...

Unknown Hits Volume 1 (from the Bat Cave)











Sunday, August 3, 2008

Top 100 Greatest Guitar Solos According To "Guitar World"/ Martin Barre Society

The following video is the top 10 greatest guitar solos according to "Guitar World".Some I agree with and some I don't.I prefer LAYLA by Clapton and Allman over #10. My all-time favorite came in at #25.I had no idea that so many people felt the same way:It is almost like a cult!I will be p.c. and refer to them as a society.










Saturday, August 2, 2008

BAT CAVE

A month ago, when my brother died, I was more than happy that his two daughters stepped up and became responsible. I did not want anything.What I did get was his cassette collection.It is a very interesting collection to say the least.The following are just a sampling of his taste in music.





Friday, August 1, 2008